How many rules do you have in your daily life? What do you expect from yourself? Do you expect a lot from yourself? And do you judge yourself if you don’t succeed?

Do you have the same demands of your environment?

What have these rules brought you in the past?

What are you afraid would happen if you would let go of these rules?

And what can it bring you? Freedom? Possibilities?

What positive effect(s) will it have on your environment?

Will there be less stress?

These rules about yourself, your direct environment (family, friends, work), or society have brought you something. It may have helped you to “survive” a stage in your life.

The problem is, if we hold our rules too rigid, they cause stress for ourselves and those around us. In addition, you will become more judgmental which also can hurt yourself and your environment.

ACT (Acceptance and Commitment) suggests changing your MUST into a “can” and striving for the following:

– Don’t stress yourself unnecessarily, your intentions are enough to make something happen.

– Don’t be tempted to judge yourself, this will only have negative consequences

– Focus on the process instead of the results

– Automatically go from your DO mode to your BE mode (Mindfulness)

Finally, there is room for your WILL.

There is no room for a “will” if there is a “must.” Your rules decide your directions. As a result, you will be lived instead of living.

Without your “will,” you will not achieve your true intentions. If there is no “will”, the motivation will disappear, and you can’t hold on to this new behavior.